Email Greetings From My Mother or McSweeney's Rejection Letters?

1. "LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVe, oodles-style." 2. "Appreciate your giving us a shot with this one, but I'm afraid we're not going to use it."

3.  "You are so very very beautiful inside and out!"

4. "I’m afraid I’m going to pass."

5. "Love love love ya, kiddo."

6. "Thanks for the look."

7. "Oh, my dear, I haven't conversed with you in much too long a while! Culpa mea, culpa tua, culpa tempo fugit?"

8. "Good to see your trying again, though."*

9. "Love with a capital Hug."

Email greetings from my mother: THE AMAZING ONES.

McSweeney's Rejection Letters: THE TERRIBLE ONES.

(If you don't know what this list style refers to, see McSweeney's lists such as this one, written by my awesome friend Elizabeth.)