Advice From a Younger Sister #2: Things I Loathe

Got boy problems? Need career advice? Wondering what the square root of pi is? Like a Euripidean deus ex machina, Younger Sister is here to help. CalistaGINGRICHwithNEWTiowaDEC2011

  1. Judgmental people. To all you haters out there, YOU DON'T KNOW ME. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I'VE BEEN THROUGH. No but seriously calm down with the jumping to conclusions and the judging and the “I'm better than you” looks. Everyone does it, but that doesn't mean it's cool. Ugh. Like, who nominated you to be better than that lady with mom-jeans? MAYBE SHE'S A MOM.
  2. Kids that grow up too fast. Dear middle schoolers, I was once like you and I couldn't wait to drive and be cool, but just wait. Anyone who's cute or un-awkward in middle school is breaking the rules of nature and science and should not be trusted. It's okay to be awkward. Embrace the awkward. And stop with the iPhones and selfies. Like come on, it's okay to break a nail and climb a tree. I promise. And your life won't end if you don't immediately text back your boyfriend of two minutes whom you swear you'll marry one day. He won't stop liking you because of it. And if he does, you're finally free from bondage.
  3. School. Need I say more? I used to love school but junior year hit and I decided I'd rather work at McDonald's after high school anyways.
  4. Job-hunting.
  5. Uptight people. Like, seriously calm your freaking titties. It's okay if your plans weren't exactly followed, everything will be okay. Relaaaaaax.
  6. When people call me Anna T. I have a last name, people, and it sure ain't T.
  7. Clingy people. I WILL STILL BE HERE IN TWO MINUTES YOU DON'T HAVE TO FOLLOW ME AROUND.
  8. Abbreviations over text. LOL? Really? I can guarantee that my previous text was not funny enough for you to have audibly laughed. LMAO? Pretty sure the booty is still attached.
  9. Bugs. I kid you not, one time I saw a purple ant-looking thing with ORANGE WINGS. It was huge, ugly, and intimidating beyond measure. Props to all of you insect-lovers out there, but I could live my whole life without them critters and I would be perfectly happy. Except roly-polies maybe...those things are pretty cute.